Your opinion of me DOESNT define who I AM.

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Your opinion of me DOESNT define who I AM.
31 Min Read

Your opinion of me DOESNT define who I AM.

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Beth called me on Monday. "Hey, I thought that I would get us a place up the coast instead of staying at my house when you get here on Friday. We've got two whole weeks, and I'd love to look out at the ocean in the morning. Whatcha think?"

"That sounds great, love!"

"Ya'd better get your ass here early Friday afternoon so that we can have some playtime 'fore we head up the coast."

I did just that, 4 days later, when I flew into SeaTac. On the plane, I started journaling this trip because I wanted to have a record of our vacation. She picked me up at the airport and we drove back to her house near Everett, just off of Highway 5, and got there by 2 pm. She said that her daughter was away for the rest of the summer at her father's, so not to worry.

Well, hell! I'd thought I would at least get to see her daughter today at dinner; she was one of the highlights of my trips to Everett. Her daughter either stayed with her dad or with her best friend while I was in town, though we'd often have at least two meals with her daughter over the course of the weekend. Wonderful kid! I often considered whether I'd be a good step-dad. I hoped that I would be when I finally married her mom.

Of course, the true highlight was going to be in that lovely bedroom with those gorgeous legs wrapped around my head as she came in my mouth. Lordy, my cock was excited!

She ran into the house while I grabbed my luggage and followed her in.

As I walked in, she asked me to put my suitcase by the couch and go pee or potty if I needed to. I told her that I'd gone at SeaTac and that I was just fine, thank you very much. She laughed and asked for me to hang for a sec. I did just that and, a heartbeat later, she asked for me to come back to the bedroom, which I gladly did. My motor was starting to turn a bit faster and I looked forward to the next several hours.

I walked in and the room was almost completely dark. She had put something in the windows that the blacked windows out. I couldn't see whether it was over or under the curtains. I was just about to ask her about that when she calls out, unseen, from the far corner of the room, "Get your clothes off and stand in the doorway, facing the hall."

Well, I'm a perfect gentleman and will refuse no reasonable request from a perfect lady! I couldn't get my clothes off fast enough and went to the doorway, faced out into the hall, and awaited the start of Nirvana.

I thought about having the laundry down the street sew those buttons back on, but I had plenty of shirts with me.

She moved up behind me and slipped our blackout mask over my eyes. We did this fairly often and it always led to great fun, so I got more excited. I heard her turn on the lamp on the bedside table and then she came back and guided me to the bed.

"Lie in the middle of the bed and then answer me a question, Trance Man."

That was her favorite name for me since I'd hypnotized her. Since then, I've introduced other things that enhanced our sex life and our relationship. Hypnosis can be really useful! After that first weekend, I'd flown back into SeaTac every two weeks on a Friday and she'd pick me up for the short drive up to Everett. It was a really beautiful drive; almost as good as driving across Bainbridge Island.

I got into bed and scooted to the middle. "Go ahead and ask."

"Do ya trust me?"

That was most unexpected! (wait, what? Bill and Ted are here?) I thought about it and wasn't sure that I liked the question, given our many days together over the past year and a half and the complete trust that I thought that we shared. So, why the question? Still... I'm a dumbass, so...

"Always, love!"

"I'm gonna ask ya to do some things for me without question. I promise that they won't hurt ya and it means a lot to me. I'm going to ask ya to do these things for me over the thirty minutes, without question or refusal. I'm asking out of love. Will ya do that for me?"

Another most unexpected question. Now and again we played this sort of game but with only a single request and with a right of refusal. However, we had never asked each other about trust first, because that was a given. What the fuck was going on??

I was thinking about it and I guess that she got tired of waiting.

"I'm asking for this out of love. Please do this for me," said the disembodied voice.

Hmm... "For you, love, I will do anything. So, I commit to doing anything you ask of me for the next thirty minutes without refusal. You have my word."

How bad could it be, right? Yeah, right.

"Then I want ya to put your arms and legs out as far as possible and hold them there while I do what I do."

This was nothing that special. We'd tie each other up now and then torture the other person with pleasure and edge them until they begged for relief. I can play this game! I stretched my arms and legs out as far as I could. My excitement took a jump, as did my cock.

"Now what?"

Immediately, she moved to my left hand, which was the furthest from the door. I failed to understand how she could see my hand; I could hardly see my shoulder. I heard her pick something up from beyond the bed and touch my hand. Ok, I thought, sash time! But, it wasn't a sash, it was a cuff! A soft cuff, not a metal handcuff, but still a cuff! That was new! Most unexpected!

She wrapped it around my wrist and then I felt her messing with it. Velcro should just hook right up, so what's she doing? She let the cuff go and immediately I felt the cuff pull my wrist, strongly, toward the bedpost of this very nice, faux 1800s, canopy king bed.

She quickly moved to my other three limbs and repeated the same exercise. I was stretched out and there was no slack. None. I wasn't sure what to think - again. Was this, possibly, a warning sign? Of what? Well, I just had to trust her.

"Please lift your head and open your mouth and don't say anything. You promised collection of porn gifs

Okay, this has never happened before and I had an uneasy feeling about what she was about to do, and then she did it. She stuck a ball-gag in my mouth, reached behind me and drew it pretty tight. It was a large ball-gag and barely fit. I was slightly less enthusiastic about this as we'd never used one since it would interfere with our words of love or cries of torment/pleasure. Yet again, I was unsure what to think, but I decided to ride it out and see what was next.

She got off the bed and I heard her walk towards the door; she stopped and turned on the overhead light. I could see just the barest of light from under the mask. What the fuck? We always had a bedside light on in the room but never the overhead light. I didn't like making love in the dark because I loved seeing her goddess-like body as well as the loving looks she gives me as we kiss and make love. I also liked seeing her face in indescribable torment as I would edge her, again and again, until she begged me, with promises of fealty and love, to let her cum. If I carried on too long, those sweet words morphed into the vilest threats if I didn't make her cum right-the-fuck-now.

I heard her open the drawer in the bedside table by my right hand and take some things out and set them on the bed. My excitement was re-engorged... er... re-engaged as I thought that our lovemaking was close at hand. I wanted to ask her what was going on, but all I could do was to grunt.

"Please don't try to talk around that gag or make any other sounds until I allow it. I thought about doing this with ya unrestrained, but I was afraid that ya'd bail before I could fully explain what and why. However, soon, I will give ya the option to stay or leave."

WTF?

I heard her open several packages or envelopes and heard her throw the wrappings into the trash. I guess she set whatever was in them down on the bed. My level of anxiety started to go up because I couldn't figure out what was going on and there was precious little I could do if I didn't approve.

I figured that roughly 10 minutes went by as I heard noises that I couldn't identify, interspersed with silences. She then cautioned me not to move my right hand reiterated that I'd promised and said that she'd be very, very disappointed in me if I moved that hand and that I'd be kicked out immediately hot cams

Can you believe that I didn't draw one drop of comfort from her remarks? Holy fuck! What was going on?? Why'd she keep saying that no harm would come to me? That shouldn't have been necessary to say once, much less several times. I asked myself, again, wtf is going on?

I felt something on the back of my right hand; it felt like... no way!

Yeah; Bill and Ted, again! I don't know why I kept bringing up their trademarked phrases; I would have to think about that later. In the meantime, I hoped that I wasn't going to blurt out, "Wyld Stallyns!" at some point.

It felt like an alcohol prep pad being wiped down my hand from the wrist to the knuckles. Cold! But that was silly, because why would she do that? What. The. Actual. Fuck. was going on??

What could only be a tourniquet went around my wrist and was yanked tight. I realized that my thought wasn't silly; it was scary! Immediately, a needle went into my hand where she had been prepping. In a flash, she whipped the tourniquet off and I felt a cold liquid flowing into my hand. She taped the needle down and then taped some tubing onto the back of my hand. She must have had strips of tape ready and an end stuck to the headboard, ready to be grabbed and used. It was all over in seconds.

Holy Mother of Christ; she put in an I.V.?!?!?! My mind froze for a second. She had no medical training and even if she did, what the fuck was this? I used to be pretty good at this stuff because I'd gotten my EMT rating a couple of decades ago, but I was not even close to this fast at my best. She was like a "Super Med Tech!" I thought about making some sound through the gag, but I had promised, so I just trusted her that no harm would come to me. After all, she was demonstrating a level of competence that was impressive. Not to mention the fact that I was completely helpless with a possible Dr. Kevorkian at my bedside, ready to offer me a Final Exit.

"Now, sweetheart, please don't be alarmed. This is something we talked about some months ago. Remember when ya told me about how Karen, a little over five years ago, hypnotized ya by using Sodium Thiopental to loosen ya up and more able to focus and more amenable to giving up control?"

"Well, I've been reading up on this a lot. I took First Aid and then Advanced First Aid at the Red Cross, so I could learn about putting I.V.s in and practicing infection control. I'm pretty good, yeah? Ya hardly felt the needle 'cause ya didn't flinch and hands are one of the hardest places to hit a vein without causing pain."

"So, there's an I.V. infusion lead taped to your hand and it's hooked to a bag of Ringer's hanging from the poster of the bed. It's going in at a very low flow rate 'cause I don't want ya to have to get up and piss. Are ya willing to listen to me the rest of the way through my explanation or are we going to have problems and ya break your promise to me? Nod if we're ok and shake your head if we're not."

Then, she laughed. She fucking laughed! I felt a chill air fill the room; all of the hair on my body seemed to be standing up! I wondered what my pubic hair looked like, straining to reach the ceiling. Forget that. More important things are afoot.

I thought about what I thought was going on and I got a bit more scared. She was about to shoot me up with thiopental and try to hypnotize me. Well, that wasn't going to work; she was no Karen. So, I figured I'd just go along with it and get some good drugs and get whatever this was over with and see if I still wanted to stay or get the hell out of Dodge.

I have to admit that I thought that her impaling me with a needle was even sexier than her impaling me with a strap-on! I have an aversion to needles; I haven't ever watched myself getting a flu shot or watched a blood draw, but the thought of the needle slowly going in was a real turn on. When I'd do a blood draw on someone, I felt a fascination and power that was very real. I was distracted by these thoughts instead of paying attention to the fact that I was in a possibly very precarious position.

I nodded, very slowly,

"I'm going to give you some Valium along with the thiopental. I want to reduce your anxiety while we do this, plus the Valium enhances the suggestibility effect of the thiopental. I want to assure you that I've researched the drugs carefully and calculated the doses while taking into consideration your body weight. I need you to nod once if you haven't a meal since breakfast and twice if you have."

One nod collection of best porn

"Ok, I had 2 different sets of rigs prepared with different dosages, and now I know which set to use. Also, to make sure that I don't kill you, I have a spray bottle of Narcan here on the table plus a rig of Narcan, just in case it's needed. Now, I want to tell you why I'm doing this."

FFS! Finally! Oh, wait! She said, 'rig,' which is druggie slang for a syringe with a needle attached! Where'd she pick that up? Does that mean that these drugs came from some junkie instead of a pharmacy? My fear level went up about 2 notches.

"I know that, since the sixth week of our relationship, when ya first hypnotized me and successfully treated a problem of mine, that we've had fun because you've done things with me in a trance that resulted in more fun for us, In the third month, ya agreed to let me try, so ya gave me your hypno-script to read and invited me to try."

"I've been trying and constantly failing. I believe that you've been trying to go along with this, but despite my best efforts, I have failed. So, I'm done with that and we're going to do it the way that Karen did it. I can promise that I won't let ya die or be hurt."

"However, I can't go on with ya being the only one to hypnotize someone in this relationship. I'll either be successful or I'm out. What do ya say; stay and let me try or end this right now and leave town? If ya choose to leave, I'll immediately take the I.V. out, undo the restraints and ya can leave unhindered, with no drugs in your system. Please think about this, carefully; our future depends on your next action. Nod your head if you're ok with this or shake it once and we're done."

I thought about this. I would give my life for this woman, so I decided that I would risk my life rather than lose her. I was already trapped in her game. No pain, no gain. I'm a dumbass.

I nodded.

Immediately, the blindfold came off and the ball-gag came out. The room was brightly lit and I looked over at the restraint on my right hand and - it was an actual hospital restraint! Brown leather with a soft, white fleece lining. It had a two buckle closure, but she'd replaced the normal cotton webbing tie-down with a three-quarter-inch nylon strap.

That strap went over to the D-ring that we normally used for restraint tie-down and the strap was pulled tight with a sliding lock. I knew that I couldn't break free on my best day. Why, exactly, weren't our normal sashes enough? If tied properly, I couldn't break out of those, either!

"Okay, my love, just like our first night, ya had a chance to leave and ya chose to stay."

Holy fuck! She went batshit crazy, at first, that night! I was the mouse and she was the cat, toying with my mind and body!

PsychoCat!

My fear level shot up another 5 or 10 notches. My balls started to seek shelter in my groin.

My mind reeled. PsychoCat was back and she had me well and truly trussed up and at her mercy. Was she planning to show any mercy - at all?

"Now, we're going to play by my rules, just like our first night. (Oh, fuck me!) I promised not to hurt you and I'll keep that promise. But if ya start yelling, the ball-gag will go back in. If ya don't cooperate with me in trying to get ya tranced, or if it turns out that I can't trance ya, you'll spend the next two weeks in a drugged stupor, tied to my bed, with several other drugs in your system, servicing me. At the end of those two weeks, you'll catch your scheduled flight home and never come back. So, what will it be, Light of My Life, my Forever Man?"

WTF?? WTAF??? I knew that question was coming but wasn't prepared for the additional two weeks! And what did 'servicing' her mean? Well, that seemed obvious. Duh. I'd already decided to go along with this because I promised her, at the start of our relationship, that she could try to hypnotize me and I would be the most willing subject. But this? This??

Oh, fuck! She said that I'd get the additional two weeks if she couldn't trance me! I was sure she couldn't, so I was doomed. Oh, FUCK ME!

I was assuming that the other drugs in those additional two weeks were not going to benign; I could imagine a hellscape of drugs. But, still. Well, I'm a dumbass and I'm in love with a crazy person, so sue me. Game on.

She waited while I thought things through. I hoped that I lived and didn't regret this. I was comforted by knowing that if I died, I wouldn't care about anything, ever again. Fuck it.

"Beth, you won't get any grief from me. I trust you and you've got Narcan. I promise to be the most willing subject. So, let's get busy. Send me off to la-la land and do your worst. soon-to-be Trance Lady!"

"Love, I appreciate ya showing me what ya were journaling while we drove back from the airport, so I want ya to catch it up to this moment, sharing all of your thoughts as well as documenting what ya see going on. Thus, we can read it later and laugh about this! I will release your hands if ya promise me not to interfere with what's going on. Whatcha think, love?"

I agreed and now I'm all caught up. What now?

*****

He gave me the journal, though not without some trepidation; it was like he was trying to shake the almost illegible letters off the pages. I laughed out loud! I think that he's scared. Fuck, I'd be scared, too, and he'd be even more scared if he knew what was coming.

I plan on pausing along the way to catch the journal up on what's happened since the last time I paused, but I won't necessarily remark on those times. Here we go!

*****

I re-attached the straps to the D-rings and quickly grabbed the first rig, filled with thiopental, and started to infuse him, very slowly. I grabbed another rig and stuck it in the same port, alongside the first one, and started to infuse the Valium. First one plunger, then the other and then back again. Back and forth. It was more of a rush for me than I ever imagined! I had this man's life at my fingertips! A feeling of awesome power ripped through me! That was unexpected.

Soon, he was off to Neverland, visiting Peter Pan. Boy, would he be shocked if I ever let him read this - but, that was never going to happen.

So, here goes! We're going to have such fun! Well, I am. Not so sure about my baby.

*****

WTF? Our hero was being drugged up, willingly? Oh, my!

End of Ch. 01