Journey to Happiness
Happiness doesn’t need to be an explosive achievement – it’s the common & unremarkable that can make us happy. Here's 5 ways to bring happiness into your life.
I love my life and it’s been an interesting last 4 years. Full of ups and downs, excitement and disappointments, laughs and tears, happiness and fears. And oh, so worth the trip!
Now, I’ve chosen to be happy – rather than be cool, popular or important. And I have to think about it every day and some days are better than others. We’ve all experience that haven’t we?
I believe that we need to state it out loud – this is who I am and what I want – it makes the commitment and belief stronger.
Happiness doesn’t need to be that explosive achievement – very often it’s the common, quiet and unremarkable that can make us happy – a beautiful sunset, finishing a really good book, spending time with a loved one and so on… happiness is socially contagious!
I follow 5 things I believe are a part of continuing happiness –
1. I really making a conscious effort to stop caring about stuff – I am weeding out what doesn’t deserve my attention, so I can make room for what does. And I’m getting more practice of saying no to things, which makes so much more room for the yesses! And part of this is being grateful for what I do have – and being able to give to others that need.
2. I don’t need to fit in everywhere – although I used to think I had to. Like trying to be “friends” with the “in” crowd at work. They always went to lunch together, they know all about each other lives and I tired to be friends with them and it never worked. Sure they were nice to me, yet I wasn’t one of them and at the time I thought it was important. That took so much time and energy and in the end, you either “fit” or you don’t – if it’s not natural then it’s not a fit.
3. I’m learning that other people’s opinions are not helpful. At my heaviest, I had lost my voice – so others’ opinions became more and more important to me. And I lost myself – what about my opinions and ideas – suddenly they didn’t count, even in my own mind.
People’s opinions are based on their perceptions and are often them expressing a truth about them – not you.
4. As I learned not to put so much value in others’ opinions I also learned that I had to stop worrying about offending people. We all make mistakes – and they don’t define you (I clearly thought they did). Our mistakes help us learn lessons that we never would have learned otherwise. I am also not responsible for anyone else’s happiness. I always wanted to find solutions for people and their problems – even when I wasn’t asked. Everyone needs to reach their bottom and have their own turning points – just like I had mine.
5. The last piece for me is about having the perfect body. And I think this is hard for many of us. When you think about our thoughts and the rules we have, they are all made up! In the 14th century it was good to be bigger and curvier – that showed you had money and food! Nowadays skinny is apparently better, and that’s due to the influence of the media and Hollywood. Whoever we have – we need to own it and love it. Our bodies are our temples and serve us every day – we need to pay homage to that.
And I’m not saying that we can’t want to make changes – it just isn’t the be-all and end-all; our happiness does not rely on us having our perception of a perfect body.
Perfectionism and happiness don’t really go together – I learned perfection from my Father and thought it was good thing – it kept me organized, on time, dressed well, everything always looked good. Now I realize that it’s a way of avoidance – if it’s not perfect then I can’t move on it, if it’s not perfect, someone will notice and judge me. Well, when you’re starring in your own life and journey, that doesn’t work very well.
I love this quote by Brené Brown:
“Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgement and blame.”
In my efforts to become happy, I found my passion for helping others who are going through the same struggle. Understanding that we all need the combination of whole food nutrition, fitness and mindfulness.
What I didn’t realize was how profound and deep my change would be. I love what I’m doing now – it’s been a long road and somedays I thought I’d be so much further along. Yet the self discovery and time to notice the world, has been the best experience of my life!
There is no better time than right now to start honouring yourself – you absolutely deserve it!!
Start with encouraging self-talk (we all know how we can beat ourselves up – so when you catch yourself doing this, make a change). Look for support – counselling/coaching, a mentor, join a support group – any kind of healthy relationship. Do whatever it takes to get you to the place where you honour everything about yourself – you are worth it ❤️