10 Ways You Are Sabotaging Your Success
You want so many amazing things in life. You build the plan, create the steps to accomplish it, yet find yourself paralyzed to move forward.
Nothing in your business or life seems to be changing. What could be happening to prevent you from achieving your goals? These are my personal ten self-sabotaging behaviours, each day I face at least one of them.
1. Making excuses – We are all guilty of this self-sabotaging gem! How many times have you heard yourself say,
- I don't have time.
- I don't have the right equipment.
- I'm not quite ready.
- I need to do _______ first.
- I don't have a website.
- Someone else is already doing it.
Any or all of these are creating excuses to stall your success. There will never be time unless you make it. In terms of equipment, start before you are ready, and get what you need as you go. You will never be ready, so just do it! You just need to start. Period. Exclamation! It doesn't even matter if someone else is doing it, because honestly, you are you, and the right people will find you and love you.
2. “I am” statements – These are a real life stopper if you ask me. Creating self made limitations, that otherwise don't exist. Here are some examples,
- I am always late.
- I am not a morning person.
- I am not a people person.
- I am easily overwhelmed.
- I am not a good listener.
- I am not driven, motivated, a self starter, etc.
Every time you make any of these statements, you are creating a behaviour that doesn't even exist. You are giving it life. These statements cause you to become something you don't need to be. It takes work to change and modify a statement you have been wearing as a badge or hiding behind. It's not easy, but it is possible. You need to be willing to open yourself up to seeing yourself in a different light. Most likely, these “I am” statements have been a staple part of who you think you are, so not using them takes time. Be kind to yourself in the process.
3. Perfectionism – Danielle Laporte said it best in the Firestarter Sessions.
"Perfection is procrastination"
Each moment you don't push send, finish a course, write a page in your book, finish your painting, because it isn't good enough, you are stopping yourself dead in your tracks. There is no such thing as perfect! It's a huge, misleading myth. No one in the entire world creates anything perfect, they just create, and move forward. Make the decision today that complete is better than perfect and watch your life change!"
4. Limiting Yourself – Here is another way we stop our growth before it even has a chance. This one gets me good because it is my guiltiest self sabotaging monster. I need to step up hard in removing this one, and fast. Creating limiting beliefs about ourselves, leaves us open to failure, not success. Examples of this include,
- Not emailing people who can help you because you are afraid of rejection.
- Not going to certain events because you don't know anyone.
- Saying you are not good enough to make, do, create ________.
- Not calling someone to make a sale or connection because of fear.
You will never realize your true potential if you stay snuggled in a blankie in your head. You are better than anyone else at what you do. Read that statement again. You are better than anyone at what you do. If you knew that to be true, what would you be doing differently each day?
5. Staying Safe – I say it all the time, and I am saying it again. Greatness comes outside of your comfort level. You need to push your invisible box of safety and go places you have never been before. It is in these places, where you feel nervous, excited, scared, that you define who you are. Do the stuff everyone else isn't doing while they are in their safety square.
6. Listening to Others – WHO CARES what other people think or say! I know it's hard not to listen. I sometimes let the words of others affect me too, but then I have to realize that I don't have to drink their poison. It's like Don Miguel Ruiz says in The Four Agreements, Don't take anything personally. I also think that this takes work and gets easier the more you practice it. Let go of the thoughts, feelings, and emotions that are placed on you, that you didn't ask for, that don't belong to you.
7. Comparing – No good comes from looking at what other people are doing and then trying to replicate it. I can't remember who said it, but it works here, don't compare your behind the scenes to someone else's highlight reel. Generally, you can't move forward, until you realize that the more authentic you are, the faster things go. The more you own up to your personal brand of crazy, the more people will connect and believe in you. Success is about building relationships with others. If you love what you do, so will the world.
8. Flying Blind – Go ahead, put a blindfold on and try to get to your bathroom. It won't happen cleanly or at all. You will fall more, you won't be able to see where you are going, nothing will make sense, and it could take a really long time.
There are many types of people, from the list builders, to the I just want to get there's. As the latter, I understand how hard creating a plan can be. I want the start line and the finish line, the stuff in the middle isn't my forte. But here's the deal, the more I look at what successful people are doing, the more I see that the plan is the success. Because we are so different, I believe that the plan could look different for everyone.
9. Not Following Through – Why do we do this?! Seriously! It clearly makes sense to start something then give up on it shortly after. Not! How many things have you thought about doing or even started, then not followed through on completing them? This is a huge hindrance on what you can get done for yourself and your business. Even if you know it's not going to be amazing, there is nothing better than finishing something, seeing it through to the very end, completely done. If you did this alone, you would see considerable growth in what you were able to accomplish in life and business.
10. Not Believing in Yourself – You are your biggest cheerleader! If you don't believe in what you are doing, how can you expect others to? When you feel that what you are making, speaking about, writing, isn't your best, your peeps can pick up on that. When you are your number one fan, a tribe of like-minded, awesome people, will see and feel your passion and want to help support you. True success comes when you love yourself and what you offer to the world.
Be straight with yourself here. How many of these sabotaging techniques are you using right now? How often in a day do one of these pop-up? I understand what you are going through because I have been blinded by each one of them at different phases of my growth and success. They are real trouble makers.
The important thing is to recognize how meddlesome they are right away and put the fires of fear out. It is human nature to feel this way, but you are a super amazing bad ass who is going to help a zillion people in the world, so now is the time to step out from behind the fear curtains and into your light of awesome. Be the change. Be yourself.
You are amazing, don't let anything or anyone tell you other wise!
Keep on being your bad ass self!
Lots of love and light,
Tamara Arnold - The Enchanted Fairy
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