How Do I Know When To Walk Away From a Relationship?
Relationships are hard. You are put in a position where you have to seek compromise on some days and stand up for yourself the next...
Relationships are built on communication and trust, though some tend to have none of that from the start. Chances are that you have seen bad relationships among your friends and coworkers, the ones where you can call the break up from a thousand miles away. But now you find yourself in a position that is foreign territory. Something is wrong, and you are wondering, “How do I know when to walk away from a relationship?” Are there red flags to look out for?
Knowing when to walk away is important because staying could be too much of a compromise.
Signs It Is Time To Walk Away From A Relationship
Relationships are made up of unique people coming together. You should not expect to agree on everything—it’s healthier if you don’t. You also should not be arguing and disagreeing every two seconds. A healthy relationship is full of love for the other person and yourself. If there is a lack of love and chemistry, there is a possibility that you two should walk away from one another.
Aside from that, here are some things to look out for:
1. You Compromise Your Personal Happiness
You have heard it before: “Love requires compromise.” Yes, that is true. But the compromise should be on what kind of new car to buy for your family, not your personal goals and happiness. You should not suffer just to feel love or to be loved. If you end up cutting out those activities you enjoy or losing contact with other people you care about, something is wrong.
A healthy relationship is one that inspires us to be more. To grow and evolve. A relationship that is meant to last will be the one where you lay down personal boundaries and maintain them. Your caring partner will understand.
2. Physical Intimacy Is A Chore
Humans have varying levels of desire when it comes to sexual intimacy and exploration. Yet, if you feel that sex with your partner feels as humdrum and dry as folding laundry, you should start asking why. Sex matters. Sex is necessary to ground the relationship. So if you end up passing on sex or feeling like you are doing it just to appease your partner, consider it a red flag. Maybe you two are not compatible. Maybe something is mucking up the chemistry between you both.
Talking to a couple or sex therapist could help with this, particularly if one of you is carrying the weight of a traumatic experience. However, if therapy does not help (or your partner flat-out refuses to attend), you may have to walk away.
3. You Feel Lost In The Relationship
Have you woken up one morning beside your partner and thought, “I don’t like who I am right now”? One of the things that people often get wrong about love is the need to change in order to be a good match for your partner. This form of thinking is incorrect. You should be loved for who you are—flaws and all. Change, if it does happen, should be something you actively want to do for yourself, not for the other individual. As such, any relationship that leaves you feeling lost and alone, and sad all the time is not a relationship to maintain.
4. You Are Not Respected
Does your significant other respect you? They should. Zero respect in a relationship is a sign that your partner does not care about you or your needs. They will actively cross your boundaries and try things that you have already declined to do. Additionally, a lack of respect may lead your partner to engage in affairs and other risky behaviors. When respect goes out the door, the alarm bells should be ringing in your head.
5. Trust Is Off The Table
What makes a relationship work in the long term? Trust. Relationships cannot function if there is deceit. For example, if you have caught your partner being unfaithful, and they continue to make you nervous by hiding what they do after work or being dishonest about who is messaging them at 2 AM in the morning, it may be better to walk away from the relationship.
If the trust between you has been broken but you do not want to end the relationship, it is important that you seek counseling immediately. Couples Academy can help you and your partner reach an understanding and assist with making the changes necessary to rebuild trust. If your partner is unwilling to try counseling, the struggles are bound to continue.
6. You Are The Only One Making An Effort
When you are the only one in the relationship putting in the work, such as setting up dates, sacrificing personal time for your partner, and initiating sex, it could be a sign that they are selfish and narcissistic. Perhaps they try to gaslight you and tell you that they are doing their part. Maybe they blame their distance on work or being tired.
Relationships are a transaction between two people. There should be a balance between how much you both give and take. If you feel the relationship is one-sided, that you need to constantly demand their time and affection, it could be a sign that you need to walk away. Again, couples counseling could help with whatever is happening, be it communication issues or something else. However, your significant other must meet you halfway and join you in the counseling sessions.
In order for the relationship to thrive, you both need to put in the work!
Get Stronger Together With Couples Academy
How do you know when to walk away from a relationship? When it no longer feels right. In your gut, you will know that something is off. Perhaps your partner feels distant. Maybe you no longer trust them. Regardless of the reason, you are no longer happy or whole. However, there is hope. If you and your partner do not want to end the relationship, consider attending couples therapy. Together with the experienced counselors from Couples Academy, you can learn effective communication skills and get to the bottom of the issues causing your relationship to go stale. Rekindle intimacy. Build a stronger connection together.
Get in touch with Couples Academy today to learn more about our programs.