How long after baby does Romance and Intimacy come back?
Worried about how long it takes after birth before you feel like you’re in the romance department again?
Postpartum sex and romance
You might be the most optimistic, affectionate pregnant couple right up until the moment your baby is born. The months after your first child’s birth, however, may be a more difficult period of a couple’s life where you are easily irritable and arguments ensue.
New parents often feel unprepared when it happens to them and relieved to hear that it is normal to feel exhausted and disoriented in your new role as a parent. And it is also completely normal to fight more with your partner during the postpartum period.
Relational vs Marital couples experience a sharp decline in marital and sexual satisfaction during the first six months of parenthood. The sleepless nights, the stress of being parents, the postpartum hormones and those triggered by breastfeeding, make it completely understandable that you may not recognize yourself, or your partner.
Many couples who may have shared housekeeping evenly until the birth of the baby, find themselves sliding into childcare vs. main income earning roles. Both partners can feel resentment and frustration just when each of them needs empathy and support from their partner.
Young parents may be isolated unable or unwilling to engage in the social activities for relaxation and community. Without the chance to laugh and relax with friends, negative communication between the couple can arise.
The transition to parenthood can be rough and during this adjusting period one partner might begin to miss sex before the other partner is even ready to think about it…
What should new parents know to be prepared for postpartum romance?
1. Notice sleep patterns and how that is affecting moods and behaviors. If you are fighting more tell yourself that it is not the person but the lack of sleep that is talking.
2. Empathize with your partner’s complaints and be encouraging on how much they ARE doing.
3. Give each other a break and take a night off to visit with friends, get out to a dance or exercise class.
4. Cultivate your friendship with your partner by showing each other physical affection, even when sex feels off limits. Make a point to greet each other, kiss, snuggle or share a bubble bath.
5. Go on dates with limited time for talking about the baby and instead focus on each other.
It makes sense that a couple would put their relationship on the back burner when a new baby arrives. You don’t talk about each other anymore. You talk about whether the diaper is full and needs changing.
When the baby is a few months old, however, many parents continue to show less affection to each other, have sex less frequently and feel more resentment and anger towards their partner than they had before they became parents.
Build loving relationships
If you are one of these couples, it might be time for you and your partner learn to change your negative interactions and build again a loving and satisfying relationship.
Call 613-662-6735 or send us a note below and we would be happy to get your romance and intimacy back on track.