Transformation -

Transformation -

Living in darkness for too long - childhood abuse Survival-Tricks to success

No more excuses. Let it Go.  Ha easier said than done.  It has taken me 25 years of tips and tricks and mind games to finally succeed.

How to let go of a childhood trauma?  Well first you must know the story.  Stepdad - age 12. Memories of a wonderful father for 5 years.  Living with mom and sis. Life was grand. Then this monster moved in.  The game began.

Fast forward 1989 - Toronto Yonge and Bloor - Bam I split in two - watched one of me walk across the road into traffic. Watched the 2nd me stand frozen.. and then it all began.  Was I losing my mind? What was happening? Panic, aniexty all hit me.  I did not understand.  I was working as a temporary secretary on a job assignment. I went back to work and could not speak.  I gave an excuse and left.

Where to go? What to do? So very frightened.  I went to the hospital emergency.  I spoke to someone.  I don't remember much.  Then somehow I lived.  I had a young daughter and husband.  Over the years I was in a dark hole, panic, living nightmares. The mind went crazy. I thought I was to.  Suicide 3 times. Hospitalization 2 times.

Somehow I had 2 more daughters, married 20, 25, 30 years.  Lots of therapy.  Don't ask me about 1989 - I don't remember.

So how to live? tips and tricks.  I have a file card with 10 items on it during a night time panic attack.  I went to therapy. Try walking 14 blocks (I didn't drive) with your head in the clouds and a panic attack to therapy and home again.  Taking a tiny speck of a black pill in order to sleep.  Taking meds, talking to therapists, having your loving husband stand by you.  So many years.

One day you climb out of the darkness and feel great. You got dressed and cleaned house.  You went to work over the years.  But you lived in a daze. You do what you have to do to raise your family.  Somehow you live.

Now today, I have succeeded in 3 major areas of therapy to Let it Go.  The transformation from a chrysalis to a beautiful butterfly. Free to Finally Love Yourself - F.L.Y. (1999) Steps to freedom I found on the computer.

I am in the last stages of healing. The abuser died and I celebrated. I let go of trying to get what I needed from mom when she turned 80. She never heard me and now its too late.

I am a strong confidant woman with many friends and a wonderful husband and 3 loving daughters.  Depression sucks but Letting Go is Freeing.  I am a small home based business owner with a dream to go to Africa and dance with the elephants.

If you need help with depression, aniexty, you can email me. I have lots of tricks and steps to help. You are not alone.  Baby steps and one day at a time. Don't let it be 25 years all alone.