How Radical Forgiveness changed my life
How being open to the process allowed me to find this amazing modality…
In 2016 my department at work restructured and I was laid off!
Thankfully, my mother introduced me to spirituality at a young age, and my father’s entrepreneurial spirit has always been a part of who I am.
So, the first thing I did was create a detailed outline for my new spiritual business.
I have a background in event planning, so my friend invited me to help her create a vision for her upcoming retreat. This included attending an event on “how to host a successful retreat”. I was overjoyed, what an amazing opportunity!
On day one we started an exercise where everyone was encouraged to share their “Why”. I assumed I wouldn’t be participating, because I thought I was only there to support her business. However, the facilitator insisted that I share my “Why” as well.
The first step was to write out the significant points in our life, which led us to where we are now. I tried writing out my “Why”, but it just wouldn’t come to me.
That night while in my room, I decided that when I shared my story the following day, I would start with my childhood story and see what happens.
What is my "Why"?
Photo by Hannah Olinger on Unsplash
When it was my turn to go up, something very unexpected happened.
Little did I know, Radical Forgiveness was beginning to happen to me in that moment.
Radical Forgiveness is a process of moving through 5 important stages:
1) Telling the Story
So, here is the victim story that I had been telling myself repeatedly, for the past 20 yrs and it served me, until that moment!:
When I was a child, I witnessed abuse, divorce, and death of a parent, all before the age of 7yrs. Talking about this suddenly caused negative childhood memories and emotions to arise. As I started sharing how I felt, more memories came up from my rebellious teenage years, insecurities I had about being a young adult trying to figure out life on my own and why I chose toxic relationships. I blamed my current problems on these early life experiences.
2) Feeling the Feelings
My body was trembling and my legs were physically pulsing, as mixed emotions started to release. This was POWERFUL! I didn’t realize that I had so many old, stuck emotions in my body. I realized, in that moment, I was ready to stop being a victim, and this started to create a major shift in my energy.
3) Collapsing the Story
This is when you identify the core negative beliefs behind your story and start to change the way you look at your victim story.
So, in my case, my core negative beliefs were:
- I am unlovable
- It is not safe to be me
- I am unworthy
I realized how much these core negative beliefs were driving the priorities that I set for who I let into my life. I also realized that the behaviours I blamed others for, were them mirroring back to me my own negative beliefs about myself.
4) Reframing the Story
This is where we allow ourselves to shift our perception from seeing the situation as a tragedy to something that was the perfect lesson that we needed at that time.
For me, I was able to make a shift from anger to gratitude and see that these experiences were a gift for me to begin my healing journey. Part of what supported this shift was the feedback that I got from the 30 participants after doing the exercise. My story made me feel vulnerable, which I thought meant I was weak. But apparently, I was seen as strong and powerful, for all I had been through and was able to overcome. This was huge for me!
5) Integrating the New Story
This is when we integrate our new understanding into our physical, emotional, mental, spiritual bodies, on a cellular level, so it becomes part of who we are.
I realized why I chose this path and began to see the people in my life from a different perspective. I left the event with a renewed sense of self and was ready to begin to make changes in my life, on all levels.
As far as being able to apply what I knew intuitively to my daily life, it wasn’t until I stumbled upon Radical Forgiveness that I had the tools to fully integrate what I learned, on a cellular level.
Although retreats offer an amazing oppotunity for healing, YOU can begin your own healing journey TODAY with Radical Forgiveness. All you need is to be willing and open to the process.
Radical Forgiveness provided me with such an effective and practical solution that I decided to become a Certified Radical Forgiveness Coach. I am honored to be able to support and guide my clients through this process, as it is so aligned with my core values.
If you feel stuck and don’t know how to move forward, I would love to hear from you. To book a FREE 20 minute, no obligation connection call, message me here.
Marina Tam - Radical Forgiveness Coach
Live In Joy!
Marina Valentina George
Certified Radical Forgiveness Coach