Marriage - from a Soul Contract and Human Design perspective
Four important SC/HD factors in a new marriage: how will we impact each other, respecting and making the most of our differences, self-care, and the name change
I will warn you now, this article *may* get a little technical. If it interests you, but you are not sure you can follow my explanation here, please feel free to book a free, no obligation, 15min consultation here: yourlifeplan.ca/book-online
Ok, so, you're getting married? Congratulations! That is SO exciting! I know, we often worry about the dress, the invitations, the location, the cake, the guests, the photographer (very important, by the way, you will very likely NEED to look back on those memories one day!), etc. But what is truly most important is the big change this is going to have in your life and how you may start to impact each other differently once you are married, living in the same home, and potentially changing names.
When you are dating, engaged, and/or not living together, you may not notice how much you impact each other. But, when you share a space, and spend a lot of time together, things change quickly. Especially when you start to grow into who you really are, which most of us do not know when we are getting married. Life is long, and things change.
A Human Design reading will tell you:
- Where you and your partner are likely to put pressure on each other
- The unique needs and quirks you and your partner may exhibit
- How to play to each others strengths and not feel guilty if one has more energy or ability in an area than the other
- How to take care of yourself. Its nice to think that the other will take care of us, but self-care is SO important.
- How to make decisions that you can trust (together, and apart)
- Where you are each trying to get to in the end
- Whether you will be a couple that works well together most of the time, or who will likely need to do their own thing some of the time (and there is no wrong way, its just wrong to assume that we are all the same)
A Soul Contract reading will tell you:
- Where do you really resonate (some couples don't and that's ok too)
- How are you supporting each other to grow, and how might that play out
- Where are you each ultimately trying to get to
- What issues are likely to come up for each of you, and for you as a couple, and how can you make an effort to minimize the negative impact
- What is likely to happen if either or both of you change your name? (I will expand on this below)
- How will your matrimonial home push your buttons or enhance your gifts
The Name Change:
A lot of people change, or do not change their name on principle (tradition, maintaining their identity, always hated their name etc), but a name change can drastically change your life and your relationship!
Soul Contract for My Birth Name, My Common Name Since Birth, and My Potential Married Name
I do not expect you to be able to decipher the image above. But what this shows is my Soul Contract for my Birth, Common, and potential Married Name. I did not know Soul Contract when I got married, so I opted to keep my maiden name on principle - That is who I have ALWAYS been, why should I change?
Let me tell you, that person I had always been was struggling! If you look across the rows that say "Karma" or "Goals" and you see the same number, then you see someone who is struggling! In my case I have 4-4 and 4-4 in my Birth and Common name for Physical Karma. This means that I am always worried about the future, I do not trust that good things will come, if good things come, I worry they will be taken away. And I have an 11-2 and a 20-2 in my Birth and Common name for Physical Goal. The repeating 2 means my emotions are very unstable, my decisions are foolish, and much more. So, these two things should have signaled CHANGE YOUR NAME!!!!!
My married name would have been ok, but not as powerful as I needed to blast through all my issues, not to mention to hold space for my very powerful son.
So, luckily, when I came across Soul Contract, I was able to choose a more optimal name (which meant a NEW first name and my husband's last name) and THIS really changed my life for the better. So, its not as easy as just taking a name or not, there are possible consequences or missed opportunities, one way or the other.
The other thing to watch out for is: Sometimes couples have very supportive and complimentary Soul Contracts, when they are both carrying their maiden names. But, when one or both change their name in marriage, everything changes. One partner may energetically start to push on a button or wound of the other partner and suddenly this supportive relationship turns into a war. Think about some couples where they were so great, and then they got married and suddenly everything was the other person's fault...
In these cases, I recommend looking at the new names and looking at the house address.
It may seem odd, but a new name and/or a house address will push on different buttons, and some are not too pleasant to be pushed.
I know this is a bit advanced and I may be stretching you a little, but if you have any interest, or questions, reach out.
I wish you the best in your new life together!
I plan to write an article about welcoming kids into the family, should you choose to go that route. So keep an eye out. There are very important Soul Contract and Human Design implications there too.
Here is a link to a reputable show about Soul Contract and Relationships:
Here is a link to a reputable article about Human Design and Relationships:
Until then, Much Love and Blessings.
MSc Psychology, Stress and Health
Soul Contract and Human Design Family Dynamics Specialist
You Have A Life Plan
Know yourself Know your kids Flow with life