Honey We Need To Talk

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Honey We Need To Talk

Five simple little words, but yup, its words that make grown men quiver, and teens roll their eyes. This time though, it’s not the dreaded sex talk.

Honey We Need To Talk

Five simple little words, but yup, its words that make grown men quiver, and teens roll their eyes. This time though, it’s not the dreaded sex talk. If anything, this is even more taboo and uncomfortable than that!

What!?!?

More uncomfortable than the “sex talk”? Really, is that even possible? Oh yes, I’m going to talk about:

“Pushing up daisies”

“Passing on”

“Gone to meet his/her Maker”

“Resting in peace”

“Bought the farm”

“Crossed over”

Pushing Up Daisies. Francine Houston, Transition Coach and End of Life Advocate

Pushing Up Daisies

Why can’t we just call it what it is?

Death and Dying. The notion that somehow those other ways of saying “it” is more acceptable or gentle is, at its foundation, simply unsubstantiated.

Let’s face it:

None of us is getting out alive. We are all going to die. As little as 50-75 years ago, death was an integral part of the natural order. There was nothing secret or terrible. Loss and sadness certainly still existed to be sure, but not the overwhelming fear of death that seems to have accompanied the rise of the current funeral industry.

Now, unless one lives on a farm, or has pets, encounters with death don’t occur until a parent or grandparent dies, generally as we reach our teens or later. Even in these situations, children are “sheltered” and “protected “ from death with the use of euphemisms and misdirection. Children are often not permitted to attend funeral rites, as sanitized as they are, creating situations of even deeper mystery and fear given that people simply “disappear” rather than giving everyone dyeing around the individual who’s permission to acknowledge and process their grief.

Francine Houston, Transition Coach and End of Life Advocate

Acknowledge Grief

As a result, the process of aging, death and dying have become deeply feared and taboo topics. The lack of transparency surrounding these topics has placed tremendous pressures on individuals and families at or near end of life, creating uncertainties about final wishes and deep regrets for things said in haste, or worse, unfinished business between friends and family members.

Time to rip off the bandaid off euphemism! Honouring the reality and truth of physical death and impending loss for those still living creates space for critical conversations and the minimizing of regrets.

Francine Houston, Transition Coach and End of Life Advocate

Rip off the Bandaid

- Talk about your wishes

- Clear the air

- Tell the stories

- Share your regrets and joys

Having the Conversation

Having these conversations won’t, in fact, make things awful or uncomfortable, even though initiating them may be slightly uncomfortable. The plain truth is that speaking plainly, in unadorned language about death, dying and loss removes fear and mystique and creates space for reconciliation, and peace of mind for all concerned.

These conversations allow for deepening support for family, friends, and ultimately the person who is dying and provides space to create a death process that is honouring of life, and relationships that are at the core of a life well lived.

Please feel free to send me a note by clicking on the button below Let's Talk

You can also find me on Facebook

Francine Houston, Transition Coach and End of Life Advocate (519) 591-0837

Here is some information that may interest you:

Medical Assistance in Dying

3 Pet Peeves People have about Funerals

The Right To Dies is as Sacred as the Right to Live

Dying with dignity, Activate Awareness,

Having the Conversation