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I think we can all be really hard on ourselves, and the big question is how do we grow from our shadow to our gift without beating ourselves up in the process?
Photo by Samuel Zeller on Unsplash
Below is the original photo for this article, along with the text that went with it. I decided to edit this article, as a living example of how I am learning to grow and shift with my shadow. If you want to see the original copy, feel free to contact me, using the link above.
The original title "Do you think I'm arrogant?" was still a bit arrogant, so I softened it to reflect the lessons I gained from my coach and teacher (see points 4-6 below). I hope this version is easier for others to digest. Thank you for your patience.
The only photo for "arrogant" available on unsplash
Photo by Phil Botha on Unsplash
From my original version of this article I began with: When I went onto unsplash to find a picture that represents "arrogant", this is the ONLY photo that came up, and possibly only due to auto-correct, as the title on the photo includes "Aongatete, New Zealand". But I decided to use it any way to make a point of how unflattering a word like "arrogant" can be! No one has taken a photo of a person and thought to call them arrogant on unsplash. Arrogance doesn't sell, at least not any more...
So what do I do? I know I can come across as arrogant, or I fear I do, when I comment on what I see, or share what I believe and what I know. I don't mean to come across as better than others, and I don't mean to put others down. This is part of my process, and thankfully I am aware of it, because of the tools I use with my clients. Arrogance is part of my path.
Arrogance is part of my path
This is my "radiance" according to my Gene Keys. Radiance is where your health, well being, and happiness lives, and it can also be your source of dis-ease. In the Gene Keys we move up from the shadow side (in red) to the gift (in green) to the Siddhi (which is like the enlightenment stage, in blue). The Line number tells you a bit more about the quality of your path. For me, in order to become the leader that I was born to be, I have to walk through arrogance, I have to accept that sometimes I am going to go out on a limb and I am going to fall on my butt. And add to that the 3rd line. In Human Design, which the Gene Keys stems from, the 3rd line is trial and error. You just have to make mistakes, this is the only way you are going to learn, and your mistakes are discoveries of what doesn't work. Someone has to be on the front line, making mistakes, and taking the hits.
BUT, the big thing is not to beat yourself up over it, and this is where I am a work in progress. A few things have really helped:
- I watched Belinda Womack on Gaia TV, and she shared that if you feel anxiety or any other negative emotion, feel it, and when you are done feeling it, put it in the colour purple and let it dissolve. We just need to feel it, process it, and then let it go and dissolve and be released.
- I read The Four Agreements and realized that interactions with others can be hard for many people, and it is ok if I don't do it perfectly, and it is ok if someone overwhelms me and I have to walk away. What is NOT ok is for me to beat myself up after the fact and say to myself what an awful person I am for saying/doing X or for not saying/doing X. If we can't be kind with ourselves, no one will be.
- Also, as some of you know, I caught strep throat twice in 3 weeks a few months ago. But thankfully I have a few books on hand to look up the meaning behind physical symptoms: Your body's telling you: Love yourself! and Messages from the body. What these books shared about strep throat made it clear to me that I am speaking my truth, and that is ok, but what is NOT ok was me turning around and attacking myself for doing so!
- When I see someone else that I feel is doing things the wrong way, it may seem easy for me to judge them, and say their way is wrong and my way is right, but that would just divide us, and the objective is not for me to get to the top of my ladder alone! Instead I can aknowledge that they are one step higher on their ladder than they use to be, and kindly offer them the next rung in the ladder (or at least what has worked for me).
- When I judge others, my heart closes. When I say something in a way that hurts someone else (on any level), their heart may close. Two closed hearts are just a playground for ping-pong of each other's shadows. But, if I can keep my heart open every time I feel it close, then I have the ability to dissolve whatever shadow may come around.
- Note - points 4 & 5 I learned from my Coach and Spiritual Teacher "Joseph ZatKaill Syverson", who I would be happy to put you in touch with, if you wish.
My arrogance also comes from my having the Channel of The Alpha in my Human Design, and in Astrology I am an Aries moon, an Aries rising, and a Libra North Node.
The channel of the Alpha, you can probably guess means I am here to lead, when recognized and invited. My Aries moon and Aries rising can make me seem too eager, too out there, too much of a go-getter, and I am sorry if I come across this way. My Libra North Node means I have mastered the survival game, and I have to remember this life is not about survival (which is my instinct) it is about getting along with others, so I am a work in progress, going against my shadow tendencies to claim my gift, so I can share that with others.
Please forgive me if I am still rough around the edges, but more importantly, please forgive yourself for any shadows you may be trying to hide, and maybe consider taking the next step...
If you want to know your specific gifts and your specific paths from the shadow to the light, so you can understand why you may silently suffer and how to move past this, I invite you to book a free 15 minute consultation here.
Trust me, on the other side of fear is love...
The Other Side - Anne Murray
Love and Blessings,
Soul Contract and Human Design Specialist
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