An Ah Ha Moment of Gratitude
An Ah Ha Moment of Gratitude, love and loss, thank you for being a part of my life...
Today, I am starting right here, I am going to be open and raw with my life, with my “Ah Ha Moments of gratitude” and the lessons taught.
I am so very grateful for my family and friends. I am so appreciation of kindness shown and for every day I have had with them. The supports they have and still grant me every day, which allows me the ability to serve others. Our family has been blessed with the utmost of love and support from each other, our friends and the community.
Every day little things happen that make me feel grateful for the support network around me. The other day, I was exposed to the concept of becoming more transparent, and how it allows ourselves to be more authentic. The friend spoke, on how being vulnerable allows us to be more approachable and it lets us to become a real person to our clients, friends and family. Personally, I want to be more approachable by all of those people. So here is a bit of my vulnerable self...
When I was little, just nine my parent divorced. This was my first true understanding of loss. Because, unlike with some families, this divorce had my father leaving the province, and my siblings and I had little contact with him throughout my life, even now as an adult. I am not in communication with him.
There are positive side of our families divorce. My siblings and I were raised by an incredibly strong woman and true matriarch. Our mother has lead her family as a determined woman. She returned to her academic life and earned her Masters in Social Work. She raised four children as a single parent. She taught us to value both sexes, to have acceptance for different cultures, and to help the most vulnerable sector whenever you possibly can. She served her community as a child advocate at Family and Children Services for her career and passion.
In 1988, the next transitional moment was the pregnancy and birth of our first child. My husband Keith and I had our first child as young teens.
Keith, Lesley and Samantha
This was a time that both Keith and I found life changing. No more were we simply teens dating. We had a new little life that was depending on us to care for her. She was and still is one of our major joys in our lives. We chose to get married in March of 1988. Keith has always been my best friend and biggest supporter. I could never imagine my life without him.
The journey of having Sam as young as we did taught us more then I thought was possible. She changed my identity of self from the moment I found out she was growing inside me. Whether it was her experiences in rugby, with all her concussions and even torn rotatory cuff, or her journey though earning her BA, she has always been a force to be reckoned with. Mandee has taught me about logic and concrete values. Nick has taught me the joy of laughter and creativity. Kurt has taught me how to be quietly supportive and how being emotional can be a strength. Each of our children have a different personality, with unique needs on how they explore out and learn. They were my most prominent educators.
The addition of my children into my life was a pivotal moment that shifted the direction or path I was on each time. As much as I love each of my children, I have to admit there was always a little bit of loss or change with each one. A loss of teenage years, the change in my values, and the change in life path. I love my life, and I adore my children and husband, I would never have it any other way.
Samantha and Lesley
In 2010, my next transitional moment happened. I returned to college after over 20 years of raising children. To say this was time of discombobulation is a HUGE understatement. The courses I took from Group Dynamics, Law, Child Development, to Psychology truly changed my views on life. This was the beginning of my new world in the Doula world. Learning to support in an unbiased way is truly something I grew into from the teaching at Conestoga College. My time here at Conestoga College, earning my diploma was not only empowering, but also it gave me a concrete foundation to explore out from.
In life, time moves quickly, children grow, children leave the nest, and start having children of their own. Sadly, our daughters first child, a daughter was a Stillbirth. I will always cherish every day, I have had with my dear Abrielle, my granddaughter, who was too precious to stay with us on this planet.
Abrielle has left a smudge of emotions all over my heart.
Following the loss of my granddaughter, came the love of our world, our sweet grandson Telo. He is so full of life and laughter. He loves with his whole heart. He is our Rainbow from the storm.
“It is understood that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of any storm. When a rainbow appears, it does not mean that the storm never happened or that we are not still dealing with it’s aftermath. It means that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover, but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of colour, energy and hope.” -unknown
Finding my way in this life, has taught me a lot about life, love, and loss. My mother taught me to give back to my community whenever I can. So my next journey begins, Thank you for reading and listening to my little journey.
I will leave you with one of my favourite videos right now on stress and the importance on how we view stress. This video and its lesson has helped me a lot process and grow.
Founder of A Sacred Journey