Parenting with Purpose
Getting a hold of your EMOTIONALLY FRAUGHT, STRESSED OUT OR OVERWHELMING moments Is simply about HOW YOU THINK!
GETTING A HOLD OF YOUR EMOTIONALLY FRAUGHT, STRESSED OUT OR OVERWHELMING MOMENTS IS MORE SIMPLY ABOUT HOW YOU THINK THAN YOU THINK!
Like so many things in life, the only useful change begins at the root. And contrary to popular belief, getting to the root isn’t always complex, or dark or even all that dramatic. Sometimes it’s just about recognizing what makes you tick in good ways and bad, that helps to silence the noise inside, allows you to catch your breath and to be ok.
We have three kids. We didn’t plan it that way. I got married, then what happened was, I had one immediately, one slightly less immediately and one really soon after that. Four years, three babies. Did I mention we didn’t actually have a plan? However, eight years later, I wouldn’t change a thing. ….is what I’m supposed to say. But I can’t, because, YES! Yes I would change something: I would space them out over time. I would keep them exactly, perfectly as they are – every little hair on their heads unchanged, but with about two years or more between each one. But I digress.
Alas, I have learned a thing or two over the last few years. As a mother just working it out, yes. But more importantly for me, as an NLP Practitioner and Coach. It’s been useful to be in the field of neuro-science over the last few years, as I found myself triggered by the needs, desires and demands of three young kids day in and day out. In experiencing myself as a seemingly insane person, loosing my mind, shouting randomly over tiny things of little consequence WHILE AT THE SAME TIME, standing with wide open arms, demonstrating nothing short of God-like patience in other stressful moments, I had to ask myself…..HOW? (I’ve learned never to ask Why, if I want something to change!)
And I can use that HOW to my advantage; Identifying the triggers is like finding the on/off button of the root cause. Clearing the beliefs I hold about those triggers changes everything.
Try this: Check in, when you are frustrated, and notice how often you can identify exactly what belief structure you hold that is making you feel so frustrated! Did the trigger (comment, sight, sound...) actually stir up a belief of: “I’m not good enough” or “I should be better at this…” or “I am unappreciated!” Things can get much simpler in a hurry.
Reminding myself of my values and regularly asking myself: “Am I spending my time and energy with my family moving toward the pleasure of life, or am I spending more time and energy acting to avoid the pain of what I don’t want?” I move myself back into cause and then I start feeling powerful and in control of myself again. It takes some time on the harder days, while many triggers simply vanish overnight.
Parenting is hard. It’s meant to be. But it doesn’t have to be overwhelming, or so emotionally draining that it drags you down! If you ever feel stuck or regretful of your actions or thoughts or behaviour, then find a way to change.You deserve it. Your kids deserve it. Your Family will benefit from it and your heart will rest more peacefully because of it.
This Sunday, November 26th - 9am - 1pm - $24 - Parenting with Purpose - 834 Gordon St.